Therapy for Men
I find that men are sometimes more reluctant than women to enter therapy. If you feel you would like to give therapy a try, but are also a bit nervous about the prospect, I’d like to encourage you to do so. Your reluctance is understandable; women generally find it easier to identify and talk about their feelings, and also naturally share these feelings with others much more frequently than men do.
This was actually born out in research done by John Gottman on couples in conflict. He observed couples in various conversations while their physiological reactions, such as blood pressure and pulse, were monitored moment to moment. He found that as soon as there was any hint of emotional conflict, the men’s physiological indicators associated with panic reactions increased sharply and stayed at the new level as long as the conflict was unresolved. On the other hand, the women’s profiles stayed relatively flat well into the discussion until there was overt conflict (raised voices, etc.). In other words, when men get defensive during emotional encounters, they may be doing so as a way to cope with anxiety, or even panic, while trying to appear strong and in control, as men have generally been taught to do.
Learning about this has helped me appreciate more of what it is like for men to be in therapy and to be more sensitive to their experiences of self-exploration.
Some Questions You Might Have About Men’s Therapy:
How do I know if I need therapy?
Do you feel unfulfilled, depressed, anxious, isolated, too driven, or out of touch with yourself, yet nothing seems to help? Perhaps you have tried to fix things on your own, but that hasn’t worked. It may be difficult to talk with those around you about what is troubling you. You may feel criticized, misunderstood, inarticulate, or that you are boring or burdening others. You might notice yourself finding unproductive or destructive ways of coping, such as withdrawal, addictions, trying to control others or, alternatively, being too passive. If this speaks to you, therapy can help.
What would my commitment be?
Participating in therapy involves making a commitment to attend weekly 50 minute sessions. (Some clients opt for more frequent sessions). There is no particular number of sessions you must commit to, however it is important to recognize that change which is deep and significant takes time. My rates are reasonable and will be discussed in the initial contact.
What is an MFT?
The MFT, or Marriage and Family Therapist, is the license issued by the Board of Behavioral Science of the State of California to therapists who have obtained a Master’s degree in Clinical or Counseling Psychology, have passed both written examinations administered by the Board, and have completed 3,000 hours of supervised clinical experience. License renewal requires 36 hours of continuing education every two years. The license allows the MFT to refer to themselves as a psychotherapist and provide therapy to individuals, couples, families and children.
Where are you located and how do I contact you?
My office is in Walnut Creek, California for in-person sessions. I am also able able to conduct remote therapy for anyone living in California. If you are thinking about starting therapy, please feel free to call or email to discuss this further. You can leave a voicemail at (925) 948-0562. I will call you back shortly. (Please note this phone number does not accept texts). You may also email me at therapy@susanberger.net